The image processing pipeline boasts a wide variety of complex filters and effects. Translating an individual effect to operate on 3D surface geometry inevitably results in a bespoke algorithm. Instead, we propose a general-purpose back-end optimization that allows users to edit an input 3D surface by simply selecting an off-the-shelf image processing filter. We achieve this by constructing a differentiable triangle mesh renderer, with which we can back propagate changes in the image domain to the 3D mesh vertex positions. The given image processing technique is applied to the entire shape via stochastic snapshots of the shape: hence, we call our method Paparazzi. We provide simple yet important design considerations to construct the Paparazzi renderer and optimization algorithms. The power of this rendering-based surface editing is demonstrated via the variety of image processing filters we apply. Each application uses an off-the-shelf implementation of an image processing method without requiring modification to the core Paparazzi algorithm.